?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile My photos are here Previous Previous Next Next
Mourning an online friend - Helen's journal and online home
In which an old dog attempts to learn new tricks.
heleninwales
heleninwales
Mourning an online friend
I have felt rather tearful all day due to reading the sad news that an online friend had died unexpectedly on Saturday. This was the message posted last night by her family:

"Hello this is from Penny's family. It is with a heavy heart that we have to tell you that our beloved mum suddenly passed away Saturday morning. She was much loved as a wife, a mum and a Nanna and her parting will leave a big hole in a lot of lives, we all loved her so much and will never forget you mum. xx

We ask at this time for some time for us to grieve,we will post funeral details when we know them as we know she had many friends on here."

I never met Penny (aellia) face-to-face, but knew her online for 14-15 years, at first here on LJ and then on Facebook. In some ways we did not appear to have all that much in common, but I loved reading her posts with photos and snippets of her life with her growing grandkids. She wrote engagingly about simple things and her poems were never twee or sentimental and often contained a hint of melancholy.

One thing I always admired about her was the she had cultivated a particular style of dress that suited her perfectly and she regularly posted about bargains she'd found in the local shops. The same went for her garden. She could take inexpensive garden ornaments that, by rights, should have looked tacky and yet the way she combined them with her plants really worked to create a quirky haven of peace.

I will miss her posts about baking, and her grandkids growing. I'll miss the photos of her lovely lurcher.

I know there is at least one person here on LJ who counted her as a friend and who won't have seen the sad news on Facebook, so that's one reason I'm writing this post. The other is just to pay tribute to someone who will be sadly missed by both her family and friends.
11 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
seaivy From: seaivy Date: December 4th, 2018 03:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
what you wrote is beautiful
i did not know her but thank you for telling us of her
she sounds very special
she made her corner of the world a better place!
heleninwales From: heleninwales Date: December 4th, 2018 03:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Penny really did make the ordinary come alive. I think she had had some difficult times in the past before I knew her, but her life was in a good place in recent years.

Social media leads to the problem of grieving for people that you've never met. Penny is now the third LiveJournal friend who has died and it's difficult to explain to people who don't use social media how much their online presence has meant over the years.
seaivy From: seaivy Date: December 4th, 2018 03:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
i understand
several people who i followed closely and interacted with have disappeared from L J
i wonder what has happened to them
i don't forget
tx_cronopio From: tx_cronopio Date: December 4th, 2018 04:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
I did not know her, but have seen a good outpouring of grief and respect for her, both here and on FB.

It's so hard online -- sometimes when folks just disappear, you wonder, did they just wander off, or did they die? It's hard.

I'm so glad her many friends are speaking out about her, and hope that her family can take comfort in how well she was loved.
lizziebelle From: lizziebelle Date: December 4th, 2018 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Isn't it funny how we can feel like we're good friends with someone we've never met? And we grieve for their loss as much as we would someone we know offline. I've had a few LJ friends who have disappeared, and I wonder about them now & then. One was lost to suicide, and that hit me hard.

Condolences on the loss of your friend. Thank you for sharing her life with us.
grey853 From: grey853 Date: December 4th, 2018 07:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry for you loss. It's hard to lose a friend.
halfmoon_mollie From: halfmoon_mollie Date: December 4th, 2018 09:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
pondhopper posted about her yesterday. I never knew her, but I am very sorry. I still miss jackie_jj and she's been gone a long time. Sometimes it seems we 'see' our online friends more clearly.
sartorias From: sartorias Date: December 5th, 2018 01:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Very sorry you lost this friend.
coth From: coth Date: December 5th, 2018 03:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Condolences on the loss of your friend. She sounds like a good person to have known.
eve_prime From: eve_prime Date: December 6th, 2018 09:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I have a great many online friends who I've known very well, some for 20 years or more, and I haven't met most of them, but that seems irrelevant, really. Your friend sounds special.
lab_jazz From: lab_jazz Date: December 6th, 2018 11:02 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm very sad to read of the death of your friend

Sending hugs and sympathy your way
11 comments or Leave a comment