That's not a headline you're likely to see. Neither is:
53 year-old wife and mother of two discovered how many steps are required for a healthy life.
Novice gardener uses Google to find out how to make a Zen garden.
Of course I'm preaching to the converted here, but even one of my students in a beginners' class commented last week that the Internet is seen by headline writers as the source of all evil whereas it's really quite a useful thing.