Words now in Chapter 3: 7297
Words total: 17,960
Reason for stopping: End of scene and I need a little something to eat.
I think this version is much stronger. Not only has the waffle been cut but I've shifted the mood to make it more desperate right from the start. Mark now knows that he's stuck and unable to get home. He knows exactly what he's lost, so starting out again in Baradel, completely from scratch, is going to make him even more determined and driven.
Bwa ha ha ha ha! I am so cruel. *g*