Note to self: Do not revise anything immediately after receiving a critique. Ever. Allow some time to digest the comments before makng any changes and then allow some more time to elapse and revise again before sending the story anywhere.
Why do I say this? Because I had started to revise the opening last autumn, based on the comments from the fangs_fur_fey contest. Oh, dear. It was not better.
Anyway, I went back to the original version, tweaked it just a little and now it's been sent to Sue and is therefore also ready to go to another publisher -- when I've rewritten the synopsis...
I hate synopseses.