As I said previously, the meeting with management wasn't very informative and basically we were left in limbo.
Of course my first instinct was to hang on to the job if at all possible, but as the week went on, I began to weigh up the pros and cons and began to realise that if the job was to change radically, I wasn't sure that I wanted to do it any more. Perhaps it might even be best to volunteer for redundancy. There will be a small lump sum redundancy payment, not much, but enough to give me a few months grace while I pause, take stock and decide what and how much work I want to do in the future.
Unfortunately, because G was still in Prague with no real way of contacting him to discuss this, I couldn't say anything to colleagues or the union chappie or the management or the rest of the family. The days dragged by and gradually the timetable that had looked pretty good began to fall apart as people who had booked places on courses changed their minds and there weren't enough reserves to fill the classes back up again. As I said, it was a strange week with everything hanging in the air and nothing resolved.
The pros and cons looked something like this:
|Reasons to hang onto job||Reasons to quit job|
I do enjoy teaching and I would miss it.
My colleagues have been great to work with.
|We have savings. We can manage on one wage if necessary.
Diesel prices have rocketed. My travel costs have soared since I started 7 years ago.
I am not getting any younger and the 1 hour commute is getting harder and harder.
Hardly seeing G during the week and then being exhausted for half the weekend. (I often felt we were like Sergeant Colon and wife, communicating via notes!)
My car has done 130,000 miles. If I'm going to carry on doing such a long commute, I need to buy a new car which would take a big chunk of cash.
Staying on in the job (assuming it's possible) would mean teaching groups I don't particularly want to teach and/or travelling even further to the training centre in Wrexham.
I have worked all my life since I left university aged 20 and have not had a break of more than a couple of weeks throughout this time. I've rushed from job to job without pause and squeezed in child-rearing and gaining a degree along the way. A bit of time to sit back and take stock would be good.
The ESTYN inspection likely to occur in the New Year. This really is the clincher. I found the last inspection really stressful and if there were hardly any IT lecturers left, it would be more stressful still.
The problem was, though I was becoming increasingly convinced that I wanted to quit while I was still enjoying the job and could leave with happy memories, I was sure that G would freak at the mere suggestion.
Friday eventually arrived and on the drive back from the station, I tentatively broke the news to G who, after he got over his initial dismay, listened to all the pros and cons and agreed that taking redundancy would be no bad thing. He would prefer to have me home in the evenings, not arriving back from work at anything up to 10.30pm, tired and not exactly the best company.
So, tomorrow I will email the union rep and ask him what the next step in the proceedings is.
It's not as if I'd be bored if I don't have a job to go to. I'm just starting the creative writing course this week, I have my photography to amuse me and I would finally be able to get the garden in order and finish off the home improvements, starting with the second coat of paint and touching up the holes in the plaster in the new bathroom.